PSF @Cannes 2011


Today we're heading off to the Cannes Film Festival and we're in greater numbers this year. Paul Birtwistle and Ian Wiggins will be joining myself (Michael Booth) and Paul Coppack. We will try to keep this article, and the corresponding forum thread updated with everything that goes on. According to one of our friends who is over there, it's "scorchio". So better get the lotion at the ready!

We will be promoting our forthcoming feature films Tash Force (in audio post-production) and Bar Stewards (also in audio post). Paul Coppack has done an amazing job at such short notice of getting some promo materials ready. Anyway I'd better get the rest of my packing done before Mr Coppack arrives to travel to the airport.


Rob Wickings said:
Wish I could join you! Clive will be out, so probably worth you while hooking up with the behatted one.
Shame you can't be here Rob. Met up with Fiona last night with Cop and Parloe in the Petit Majestic. When is Clive getting here?
Once again I'm jealous you guys are there. I will get to Cannes one day and who knows we may have other festivals to go to in the future! Looking forward to the updates as always. Have fun!
So, here is the first Cannes blog, it's 04:15 local time, and I have just got into bed, after destroying the apartment,

Cannes 2011 has been quite fruitful so far, getting contacts for potential Tash Force fesivtal screenings.

Fellow Pleased Sheepers Wiggy and Birty joined us today. It's been quite bizarre. It may be a surprise to some of people (who may be interested), but we don't tend to socialize outside shooting days, so having a few jars together has been a good laugh.

I made a momentous cockup today, after watching The Conformer, I was due to attend the gala screening of "We Need to Talk About Kevin" but I forgot to pick up my ruddy tickets... Dur!

I suppose making some interesting contacts has outweighed my disappointment of missing a film - which flatmates Nick Scott and Fiona Brownlie just haven't shut up about.

Going back to the flat, I was pulling out my bedding earlier, when the wardrobe just simply collapsed with everyone's clothes falling to the floor. The rail is now, how Nick would like to say in his wannabe Rossendale accent - proper fooked.

Despite all the commotion, sniggering and tooth drying of our resident Handy Andy (Nick), Annaleena slept through the whole thing. No doubt I'll have to be the one to answer all her questions regarding her missing clothes in the morning.

So, other than uninteresting anecdotes about a broken wardrobe, nothing amazing has happened yet, but I'll make sure to blog it if something does.
Chris Finch said:
Once again I'm jealous you guys are there. I will get to Cannes one day and who knows we may have other festivals to go to in the future! Looking forward to the updates as always. Have fun!
We were talking about how you would flourish here with your networking skills.

Had an interesting first full day yesterday, despite feeling sleep deprived from the night/early hours the day before. Finch you will be glad to know we are "hitting it hard" here in Cannes. Anyway, after getting our bearings we went for a meal with Fiona Brownlie, Curtin Parloe and Alexia Muinos. Then we headed to the Palais where we met with Nick Scott and Jonathan Rhodes. Nick tells me that my favourite Bertolucci film, The Conformist, is starting soon and Bertolucci is attending the screening. So we head there and whilst in the queue, Cop remembers he hasn't picked up his red carpet ticket. So he disappears losing his place in the queue, and we eventually get in. Decent seats, and I have a chat with Jonathan Rhodes of CBBC show MI High fame (and Bar Stewards). Fiona then tells us that Cop is on his way back and to save a seat. Which isn't easy when you have a lot of people looking for a spare seat. Cop takes forever, Jonathan got pissed off at having to be "chair bouncer". Then Cop turns up. Bertolucci introduces the film, Faye Dunaway turns up, and all is well. Apart from Cop didn't get a ticket.

Perhaps a blessing in disguise. Later on Wiggy and Birty make their way into Cannes. I bump into Mat Archer at The Grand. Trainspotting/Porno author Irvine Welsh makes an appearance. Then we head behind The Grand Hotel to the Petit Majestic where we bump into the producer of Donkey Punch. We also meet some brilliant contacts for festival screenings (amongst other things). We meet up with our Cannes friend Erik who tells us about the German party thats upcoming. And we gain the interest of a very good sales agent, who would like us to drop in for an informal chat.

So all in all it's been interesting so far, and the weathers nice. If I can somehow make sure that sleep deprivation doesn't get the better if me, this could be a very successful Cannes.
So I'm logging in again, not as late as last night, not as pissed either...

Today, business wise, has been utterly rubbish, done nothing. But that said - I've felt groggy all day, I have been carrying an affliction all week when all food has an aftertaste of soap - if anyone can tell me what this means I would love to know, it's been doing my tree in! Oh dear, I sound like Booth.

I might complain to AmPav too, today an umbrella fell onto my neck, obviously I took it all in good humor, but it's still quite sore... I might ask them tomorrow if a couple of Red Carpet tickets might ease the pain.

Anyway, the highlight of today happened moments later when we witnessed Wiggy's major faux pas.

He was served by a waitress who he quoted "looked like Caprice" before asking her "if she was actually a woman", much to Birty's amusement. If you ever want to to see someone go from zero to hero, that was it.

Then he nearly asked an Australian actress how old she was, but we rescued him from his potential embarrassment by mocking him for a good 15 minutes.

So again, nothing amazing... But hopefully something might eventually happen worth spending time to type about.
It's only when you look back on things that you realise how much as happened.

For example yesterday we watched the Rovers v Man Utd game in a pub. The pub was full of recognisable British producers. Only myself and Wiggy were Rovers fans so it was great that we gave them a game. A drubbing would have been heartbreaking. We then went to the Happy Hour at the Short Film Corner where getting served takes an age.

Later on we are in AmPav and I nip to the loo at the artists entrance and Robert De Niro, Uma Thurman and Jude Law step out with festival director Thierry Fremaux. Then shortly after, one of the actresses from Kill Bill walks out. As I'm walking inside I notice lots of famous faces - all character actors from films over the years so I couldn't name them - waiting for their cars in tuxes and gowns.

We then give Wiggy a tour of the croisette, them when we enter the Hotel Martinez, both I and Cop simultaneously spot Robert De Niro heading in our direction. We quite literally brush shoulders with the fellow. Wiggy got that excited bless him, that he spent all his time trying to get his camera phone ready and didn't really see him. Even though they were close enough to have a wrestle.

Later on we ended up having a drink in a British pub, going to the Petit Majestic where it was very busy. Met loads of people. Went to Hotel Grande, and ended up staying there for the rest of the night.
Here is my attempt at a blog from my phone. So far, for me cannes has been a surreal experience, the place is alive with celebrities and the worlds most gorgous women, my best day was yesterday. Me and birty are staying in golfe juan which means we have to get either the train or bus to cannes, a bit of a pain when at the end of the night we have to either get a taxi or in my case hitch a lift with a perv and get sexually molested. So back to yesterday, we got the train in and made our way to the palais de cannes, we showed our badges and went through, at the exact same time deniro walks right in front of us, this was my second encounter so i thought this time ill get a photo with him, me and birty walked right behind deniro for about 200 yards, i gave him my phone and said right take the picture, the dimwitted div then took a picture of his own neck by mistake, it was hilarious, we were left there pissing our sides as deniro drove off.

Next we heads towards the american pavillion for a beer or two and a big crowd of people had gathered behind the barriers, a guy in a red hat appears right in front of me and the crowd all start shouting "jude" i took a picture of the dude from about two yards away then i turned to birty and said "who the fucks that" he started pissing himself and said "its jude law you nugget" we then went to the pavillion and sat next to a hollywood film composer named jack douglas who was talking to some students, we said hello and shook hands, a few beers later this gorgeous bird in a red dress appears and smiles at birty in a way that i can only assume means i want to go to bed with you, it was unreal, the jammy sod i thought, anyway it turns out it was linda cardelenie from er and a few films such as the faculty and kill the irishman, she sat on the table next to us and i took a couple of sneaky picks.

Later after a few more beers we had to move tables because of a private party, we sits next to this oldish chap who was really nice, he was a swiss film director named curt who works out of canada, he was really interested in our films and said we should come to a party sponsered by laphroig whisky, booth and cop then appeared from a screening and joined us. After about six hours in the american pavillion we then went to a bar called cosy box were the party was, i had a load of free whiskey and we made friends with a dutch film critic who was interested in tash force, after around an hour we left for a bar called the petit majestic, this is were my blog will have to end as im afraid i got totally pissed and i am still paying the price!
So now I'm back from Cannezzzz. The last day proved to be fruitful, I went into the UK pavilion and asked about getting Tash Force invited into certain festivals, the advice was great and I think I got some worth while contact details, I was joined in the pavilion by Beef Curtains Parloe and Booth, Booth got rather annoyed at some guy who worked in the pavilion while me and Cop took part in a Cannes video blog.

Also yesterday I had my first walk around Cannes and up to the castle, nice view of the Palais from the top, I then walked around the quay side and noticed a crowd of paparazzi at the back of the festival building, Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster then appeared so I took a couple of snaps. My overall impression of Cannes is one of wonder and dismay, I was walking around in a trance half the time with my tongue hanging out at the sight of the worlds most beautiful women everywhere you look, I was much happier to see this than see someone like Jude Law from one yard away who to me didn't look anything like himself! I am not a perv by the way, if you where there you would be walking around doing the same, even if your female.

I enjoyed sitting around in the american pavilion at times to take a rest, what i didn't like was the fact for some unknown reason I couldn't book into screenings at the same time as everyone else, travelling from Golfe Juan everyday was a bit of a pain as well, I also see Cannes as a very selfish place, everyone seems to be doing whatever they can to get ahead like getting into parties and such, this isn't a bad thing it is just the way Cannes works and it took me and Birty a few days to understand this. My favourite part of Cannes though I have to add was sharing a room with Birty, we had a really great laugh, usually at each others expense, we constantly take the piss out of each other, he really made the week that bit better for me so cheers Birticles! finally, I always seem to get myself in scrapes and uncomfortable situations, this happened every single day in one form or another, way to many to write about but my last one was at the airport, some girl walks towards me and birty and she had massive paps (implants) we mentioned it was like 3D, i then started holding my hands out as if i was grabbing at something 3D like you do at the cinema, she then turns around and I'm there with my hands out pretending to massage some air breasts, I then did my final Bob Monkhouse impression to Birty's delight.

Oh and I finally got a cracking picture of the enigma which is Robert Deniro:)

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